To the girl who keeps asking,

You don’t want to keep living in fear of your next thought, your next feeling, whether or not you’ll be living in reality, whether or not you’ll have control—over your mind, emotions, relationships. Right now, you are okay. You can say that to yourself, to that person in the mirror. And by sticking to this routine you have right now, you will stay okay. But what if you end up wanting more because okay is not enough. Question mark. Take a deep breath. Remember, you’re here and you’re alive. You are a living, walking, and breathing miracle who may still feel a little lost. But then again, being lost isn’t the worst place to be, is it. Question mark. With all that’s happened over the past few years, from those suicidal gestures to your psychotic breaks, shuttling in and out of hospitals, more specifically psych wards, I think anyone would feel lost after all of that. This is what it’s like on “the outside”. More boundaries to navigate, what if’s, possibilities, and of course, your endless string of questions. Rest. First, your mind needs to learn how to rest. Can you work on that. Question Mark.

Sincerely, Esther