Unscientifically

To the lady without the lab coat (or the safety goggles),

Sunday morning, you listened to words. From teachers, speakers, pastors, and preachers. But all you heard were pros and cons for this and that, theories that you thought needed to be challenged and investigated, subjected to The Scientific Method—your paradigm for truth.

The days leading up to Sunday, you said “I’m sorry” to Josh. It would be easy. It would be clear. It would be over in a few minutes. You walked down the stairs and said what you thought needed to be said to fix things. But turns out reconciliation isn’t so scientific. It doesn’t always happen when you say the words “I’m sorry.” The finer things in life don’t follow an iterative method. Living. Loving. Healing. Hurting.

You made a vow once to protect yourself from the amorphous-ness of those finer things. Say “No” to the heart and “Yes” to the mind. Your body was confused at first. Think or feel? One or the other? But soon enough, it started to adapt. Logic came before love. Reason before grace. Objectivity before mercy. And in shielding yourself from matters of the heart, you lost sight of something on Sunday mornings and on the days leading up to it. You forgot how to look at the person right in front of you.

But here’s the beauty of it all: you can forget things one week and still have a chance at trying again next week. And the week after.

Sincerely, Esther